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PULL OVER ME
I tried to kill myself……
But there is someone who safe me in fly over then he pull me back tight with anger…
“Hey, hey, hey… STOP.. PLEASE... STOP… PLEASE…PLEASE… STOPP..…. DON’T DO THAT ARE U CRAZY??? LISTEN TO ME, WHY ARE U TRYING TO SUICIDE? WAKE UP!!! He Said
“WHO ARE YOU? U DON’T EVEN KNOW ME, FUCK OFF!! AWAY FROM MY LIFE”. Said her with sobbing in her tears
“Let me help you, c’mon sit down.. just calm… Tell me what happened don’t ever dare to do stupid things again, its not good for yourself. If u have a ton of problems, facing. Don’t run from problems it does not make u an adult. I know I'm stranger to u but if you need help or something just tell me… I will give u my number..”. He Said
“I never want to alive again I'm too tired about this fucking world. U will never know my feeling.. I just want to FEEL PEACEFULNESS... WHY I RUN INTO THIS… U know with suicide my life will end and I don’t have to think about life anymore because I Already death but u SAFE ME? WHY SHOULD I LIFE THERE IS NO ONE WHO CARES ABOUT ME EVEN MY FRIENDS, MY FAMILY… WHAT I DO IS ALWAYS WRONG IN THEIR EYES.” She said with anger and tears
“ I DO, I DO care about you that’s why I safe you.. Now Let me get u home”. He said out loud
In front of the yard he gave me his number and I don’t know yet his name but I never text him or call him. After that accident I never try to suicide anymore because of him, he was right I shouldn’t run from problems, I feel embarrassed for myself. Life is getting worse day by day because of my parent always angry to me because I always ask my mom to pay my semester in college I don’t know why my parent treats me like that but actually my parent is very rich but never easy to give money.
“Mom can I ask u something?”. She said
“What again Pearl? Don’t do dare ask me to pay ur Semester or ask money to have fun. U know Pearl why I treat u like that? Actually I hate u, I don’t love u Pearl as my daughter.” Mom said
“REALLY MOM? SO WHY IF U DON’T LOVE ME U WILL KICK ME OUT?”. She said with anger and tears up
“Stop Clara why u said that to our daughter u are so mean, doesn’t listen to ur Mom”. Dad Said
“Smith u have to tell the truth that u don’t love her too right? U also doesn’t even care to her at all because when she cry u never look at her or try to make her calm and also u never talk to her, so don’t try to pitty her”. Mom said
“ENOUGH I’M SO SICK TO ALL OF YOU I DON’T CARE IF BOTH OF U DOESN’T LOVE, ALRIGHT I WILL PAY BY MYSELF JUST DON’T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN”. She said
Like I said my parent always talk with a bad words its really hurting, I never leave house until now because I love them even they are so mean. Well, life must goes on so I decided to not think the problem and ignoring toxic people. I try to love myself first and right now I’m focus on my college life and do part time job so I don’t have to ask my mom to pay the semester.
It’s been two years after that accident I never meet him again, I never expected that he is in the same University with me but in different subject. I saw him in the cafeteria but actually I doubt it because I don’t really remember his face. I just look at him and he also look at me too but without saying hello to each other just walk away.
When I was in library I accidentally hit the boy who helped me, I didn’t realize that but his is know me.
“I’m sorry to hit u I’m in hurry”. She said
“Oww that’s okey, wait I think I know u from the past?”. He said
“Huh? Sorry I have to go”. She said with nervous
“Stop wait I wanna talk to you”. He hold my hand softly
“What? U wanna tell other people right that I was suicide, u wanna make of fun right?”. She said
“No of course not, for what I do that, c’mon lets eat”. He said
“Fine”. She said
We eat breakfast together, I thought he want to make fun of me but I was wrong he is so lovely, caring, and sweet. We almost forgot time because we are talk to each others.
“Heyy, Do u think that I will make fun of you? No I’m not kind of person like that, I just want to know u better is that matter to you?” He said
“Hmmm yeah… I was afraid because of my past time, but after that I never try to suicide again, thanks that you safe me before its mean a lot”.
“Thank God that u already change, u have to remember that’s life is more beautiful then u think u just to explore urself and try something new that’s make forget ur problems.”
“Yeah u right”.
“Remember okey, no more pain, no more suicide just be happy and laugh much. Don’t think that’s your problem is bigger than ur fear”.
“Thanks, u know how to makes feeling better.”
“Yap lol, btw ur name please?”.
“I’m Pearl, U?’.
“ Wow, what a lovely name, Chirs Ford”.
We have so much in common, also I have a lovely day when I’m with him, makes me a bit happier because I never expect someone like him, he is so adorable. I don’t have friends in by my side so when he treat me like that I feel happy but a bit worry too, but for now I should open mind to someone who care about me I will try it, its okay if my parent treat me bad I will always positive thinking.
I should work hard to get a lot of money, I need to proof to my parent I can do better if I can have a lot of money my parent will treat me good, I apply to many company and store, then I got a job near my campus, but I thought that my parent will so proud of me but I was wrong what I do Is always wrong in their eyes so I decided to out of house.
“Mom, dad I got a job near my campus I have a job In store yeah but not big but I will try to paying the course with my money.” She said with full happiness
“Yeah u should do that, then try to stay away from this house life by ur own house”.
“Mom…. Okay this is to much how many time I have to patient, if u DON’T LOVE ME then I will get out in this house, I will prepare thanks for everything Mom and Dad. Take care to ur baby in ur belly. Good bye”. She said with tears up
“But Mom Dad can you just love me for once, am I really that bad for both of u? Dad are u seriously do not love me at all because you seems quiet all the time, please it is hurt my feeling a lot? Am I that bad, I’m not deserve better?
“Better u go for now Pearl, this is for the best for our family”. He said
Yeah, I’m crying all day because of my parent… my mom got pregnant again I hope she treat her baby with a lovely, exactly I will jealous but its okay. I still wondering why and why, actually I don’t know I have to life where but I try rent a little apartment near campus with really low pay. So already rent my apartment.
When I remember about yesterday… and my heart broken again and again I don’t understand that I just want to have no feeling so I can’t feel pain…. Why I can’t be like everyone who can have anything they want, also have parent who truly love her daughter with carrying and loving. Am I not deserve that? or I’m born to this world is just a trash? No ones can really know my feelings and also I do… For now on I just wanna be a successful woman in the world, so I can have a lot of money I can eat many thing expensive and I can make a charity.. That’s the biggest wishes.
After I leave house my life start heal because I don’t have to argue all the time with my parent, then also right now I make a lot of friends but there is a one friend who truly with me all the time. I’m feel happy.
“Pearl c’mon hang out I feel bored, because of assignment I wanna feel free”. Soya Said
“Okey, but u know I have to work first, then I will hang out with you as much as u can”. She said
“Okay..Omg…. such a flirt lol”. Soya Said
After work I hang out with Soya until late, when I walk to my new apartment there is a guy who standing In front of my apartment.
“Hey, Pearl”. Chris said with wave
“Hey, what are u doing, why u know my apartment?”.
“Of course, I always know u even more, here I bought u some food, eat well kiddo, see you later”.
“Wait, thank you so much”. She said with smile
When I’m at work Chris come with his friends and do some assignment.
“Hey’. He said
“ Hey, wanna order something?”
“Yeah I would like to have three cholate with almond, Vanilla with oreo cheesecake, blueberry chocolate with strawberry and some fried fries”.
“Okay, 200 Dollar”.
“Here take it, some drink one for u”.
“Umm” Confused
After I finished worked like usual Chris always follow me and around me.
“Pearl, u know I never do this think to another girl I don’t know with you I feel comfortable, don’t think that I’m an evil person always follow u..why I always follow u because I should make sure that u are safe.”
“Hmmm.. Thanks Chriss but its okay u don’t have to do that I already an adult so I can take care of myself”.
“Let’s dinner I will treat you, c’mon”.
“Fine”.
Chris bring me to expensive restaurant, I’m so confused because all of the menu are so expensive.
“Chris, why u bring me into this fancy restaurant, Honestly I don’t have money. I will go home”. She said
“Pearl its okay like I said I will treat you”. He said with laughing
“I feel shy because of u that I’m very broke”.
“Don’t say that I don’t like it”.
We are eating dinner until late it was so amazing dinner I have ever had in my life, we are getting close to each other’s but why I feel different way, Am I afraid if I love him or I just don’t want to lose him? Think about that its make me dizzy and I still waiting my parent to call me but there is no one, alright I know now that my parent really doesn’t love me just the way I love them, sad? Yeahh.. but what should I do then, I have to throw my pain I feel happy right now I have close friend and him honestly.
Before I go to campus, I stop by the house I’m not in because I’m afraid they will angry to me I just see them I overheard their conversation
“Smith, I’m glad our child already born he is a boy so handsome”.
“Yeah the child that I want is a boy not a girl finally got it too, thank God so grateful”. Full of happiness
“Smith, have u ever that we are to harsh to our daughter, I feel bad”.
“Stop don’t talk about her anymore, we are already happy right now, don’t ruined it”.
After I heard that conversation my body is shaking, I don’t know I can’t move I can feel sobbing in my heart my tears up again but I try to hold it because I’m afraid I will got caught. Then I go to apartment, it really hurt that I want it is to disappear but I have to remember what he said if u have problems facing don’t run and I go back to my house to talk to my parent to make it clear.
“Tock, tock, tock, tock”
“Come in”.
“Hey, Can I come in”. She said
“Why are you here again?
“Can u just ask me how are u doing or ask me did you get into trouble something else that make me happy that both of u care to me”
“Hmmm, Oh ah that’s our baby isn’t he handsome right?
“Yeaah, Mom Dad I wanna make sure Do u both love me or care to me?
“We told u that before we aren’t care about ur life is”?
“Aahh….. okay…., I know now It turned out that I didn't hear wrong, for a few hours I stopped by the house for a while and accidentally listened to your conversation and it turns out that you don't think I'm your child and I just ruin ur happiness because I’m with both of u, It’s okay I come here just to make sure I wont come here again I promise”. She said with holding her pain
“Pearl we didn’t mean that”. Mom Said
“Yeah we mean that Pearl”. Dad Said
I just walk alone to think again why my parent hate me so much did I make any mistakes, my heart is already broken again but when I arrive apartment I see him again brings some food and flowers.
“Hey, Pearl why are u crying”.
I told him about everything and he can me calm again
“Pearl its okay there is still who love u more than them, believe me ur are strong than u think”.
“Thanks anyway, I’m so happy because u always there for me it’s mean a lot really”.
When I’m in campus he come to my class and ask me out for a second
“Hey Pearl, can we talk?”
“Yeah… what happened?”
“I need to tell you something important, meet me at 08.00 pm I will text u an address.. Bye ciao”.
I still wondering why he want to tell me something, am I made a mistakes or what, I decided to come, when I come I didn’t expected that I come to fancy restaurant and I met him
“Oh My God,, hey this is really an address?”
“Yeah Pearl (Laughing).. C’mon have a sit”
“What this is for?”.
“Pearl I will be honest to u that I really love you so much since we met, I don’t know u love me or not but I just want to tell u this.. Will u marry me?”
“……mmm why u so suddenly, I’m so sorry I cant”.
“Oh can u tell me the reason, because u seems love me too Pearl?”
“I have no reason, bye I have to work”.
After get rejected from me he never show again or text me, actually I love him so much but I don’t know I’m to afraid because what my family treat me, I feel like don’t deserved this. Also we aren’t graduate yet it is so early for me. When I saw him in cafeteria he never look at me again, he just walk away.
Five month without him in my lif feels like bitter its so hurt, I do activity like an usual, I never expected that he call me, that he want to make sure if I never love him back.
“Cring, Cring, Cring” Phone ringing
“Halo, who is this”? Said Pearl
“Hay Pearl I’m Chriss I’m really sorry to call u again I just want to tell that I cant forget about you Pearl, I really love you so bad… I promise I will try to make u happy and make you like a queen. I’m really suffer when u rejected me I cant eat well”.
“I’m sorry”. (Crying)
“Just don’t said that just say that u love me too Pearl be honest to yourself, I won’t ask u again I promise I really want to move on so I ask u for the last time will u marry me?”
‘U know why I rejected you before because I still trauma about my own family and also we aren’t graduate yet”. (Crying)
“Pearl I never want to hurt you, just have my word, because I wanna be successful with u Pearl”.
“Yeah I do love u so bad Chris I’m in love with u but u know I don’t have money for celebrate our wedding, because of my family”.
“OMG SO UR ANSWER IS YES??”
“Yeah, Chris”
“OMG I’M SO HAPPY, THANK YOU SO MUCH, Pearl listen u don’t have to think about money I will pay all of them don’t worry about that, For now we have to tell our parent”.
“Yeah but”.
“Don’t said but just say yes”
Tomorrow morning we try talk to our parent, but yeah like I said my family doesn’t care at all but they will come, but there is make me happy his parent is so lovely and her parent love me I’m very happy.
“Who is she Chriss you’ve never brought a woman before” Said Chris Dad
“Mom, dad she is Pearl my fiancé, do you bless us?” Told Chris
“Omg, of course child what kind of parent are we I’m glad you find someone” Said Chirss mom
“Chris omg ur fiancé is so beautiful and adorable”. Said Chris dad
“Thank you so much” (Crying)
“Hey Pearl why are you crying?” said Chriss, mom, dad
“I’m so sorry its just so touching because I never saw a lovely and caring family”.
“Uuuuh honey, come here”. Said Chriss mom with hug
Chriss tell about my family to them
“Honey don’t worry I will treat u like my own child”. Said Chris mom
I never expected that Chris parent is so adorable and loving caring but u know Chriss is so rich I’m very insecure but I have to try it and for wedding I have a bit savings in my Bank. We are decided to marry next week. But there is a woman who in love with Chris and attack me in front my apartment.
“Hey, Bitch” She said
“I’m sorry I’m not a bitch, who are you”.
“UR BITCH WHY U STOLE MY BOYFRIEND”.
“Who, I don’t know you sorry I have to go”.
She he pushed me, by chance Chris came
“What the hell Siera, what are y doing to my fiancé get off”. Chris help me
“Chris, why u never release that I love u, I know u love me too but when she came everything has change, I'm naturally angry too”. Siera Said
“Just go, I have her in my life lets go Pearl”
Chris told me that he was his childhood friend and he had feelings for him, but Chris did not love her I was relieved that Chris chose me as his life partner, after that that woman never bothered our relationship again. The day we have been waiting for has arrived, the day when we tie the sacred promise, namely marriage. I’m feeling so happy also nervous.
The day we have been waiting for is present now, when I saw him I feel butterflies in my stomach, I’m very happy to have him in my life.
“Pearl now u are my wife, u safe with me and I will treat you like a queen”. He said with flirt
“You are such a flirt u know I never feel happy before because we are married now I feel free to always see u face every single day”.
In that time, we are very lovely family and again my parent still treat me like that but its okay for me because I already met him and now he is my husband.
